Boredom.

My laptop has died again, so I can't post photos. I also don't have much time to write on my computer at work because now that it's my last week I've been overloaded with work.
I'm bored with Sean, sadly. I'm not sure what those feelings I had were, exactly. They weren't feelings of love. Maybe I was eager to try out a relationship-esque thing, since I hadn't really been in a real, mature relationship before. But things got boring very quickly for me. It just felt too much like we were married. We held hands while grocery shopping together. Friday night I made banana bread for Sean, his cousin, and his cousin's friend while they all watched the World Cup and drank beer. We watched a movie together. I slept over. He made me breakfast Saturday morning. Then we wet to Powerscourt together on Saturday.
It's all too much too fast. It's boring. I'm eighteen, I should be crazier. I thought it would be this crazy affair type of thing...but it really wasn't. I thought the sex was great the first time around but I suppose it could have been because I was drunk. Or maybe because we only did it once. I don't know. The second time we slept together it was fine, but boring. I hate boring. I would rather be heartbroken and depressed than bored.
I signed up for the Bake Sale so tonight I'll be at Sean's again to use his oven. Not in the mood for dull sex. He's too nice to me. I'm surprised I was attracted to him in the first place, since I never like the token nice guys.
On another note, Zach totally thought I was flirting with him and when we hung out yesterday he suggested that we make out. Just like that. I was blabbing about something and he just said, "Wanna make out?" I said no. Without hesitation. I would say no to anyone who asked me that. Who says that? So unromantic. Actually, I'm just not attracted to Zach in that way at all...He tried to redeem himself by saying that he just wanted to shut me up and that he was bored. Because that's what teenagers do when they're bored: make out. I didn't think I had ever done that, but upon giving it a little thought I realized I totally had. I've done those things out of lonliness, and lonliness and boredom kindof go hand in hand, don't they? Maybe not. I ahven't been quite sure about ltos of things lately.
I'm a bit of a rollercoaster and I suppose I'm hitting one of my lows at the moment. I miss home. I miss my family a ridiculous amount. I miss my friends, too, of course...but my paretns and my grandparetns the most.